Soul Deep
by Lady Crimson and Black
Summary: HDM fusion. [Team 7 and their daemons.] It is hard to hide who you really are – both from yourself and others – when your soul walks right beside you. Literally.


**Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto or His Dark Materials.**

* * *

Kakashi's daemon settled when he was twelve, newly promoted to a jounin status and completely and utterly helpless for all of his skill and power as he watched his best friend – and Obito was his best friend, no matter what he claimed in those dark, _deluded_ days before that mission – being crushed to death.

He had been the only member of his team with an unsettled daemon, and it bothered him quite a bit. Minato-sensei was an adult, so it was understandable that Heiwa had already chosen her form when Kakashi had met them, but Obito and Rin? They were his age and much less mature in his opinion and it simply grated that they were considered fully grown. Granted, the war forcibly stopped their childhoods, but why wasn't he the one with an adult daemon then too? Wasn't he the one who suffered most hardships, who survived, who fought far longer than they did? Hadn't he deserved it? Why wasn't he ready?

(His childhood stopped years ago, after all, when he found his own father in a puddle of blood and his daemon long ago dispersed in the wind as a golden dust.)

Chiari had always been... unusual. She was quiet and reserved and never really talked as long as there were other people around them. She hadn't uttered a word in public ever since they found Sakumo's body and she refused to move from her spot, kicking and screaming for Chaelin only to be met with frightening, stifling silence that was worse then anything they had heard since, even on the battlefield of the latest war. She had to be sedated in the end, and when she woke up, she had simply... gone quiet.

She refused to talk. She refused to offer the basic politeness to the other daemons. She refused to even look at anyone who wasn't Kakashi for the longest time.

(But Kakashi had seen her, with his team, their team. She allowed Minato's cheetah to sniff at her and lick her when their sensei was worried. She allowed Rin's wren to perch on her shoulders or her head when she healed him. And she always, always curled around Obito's ocelot when they settled for a night in a camp, or shared a watch, and Kakashi would have felt embarrassed at the display of affection for the weakest of his teammates if not for the warm, deliriously comfortable feeling that trickled through their bond and managed to distract him every time.

The team made her happy, at least a little, and he could not fault her for that.)

So when she finally settled, he wished with all that was left of his shattered, ruined heart that she had continued shifting until the end of his life.

Because it took Obito dying for them to finally, officially reach adulthood.

(Just another reason to hate himself, he found out in the later years.)

But in that moment, he didn't even notice it. Because Obito was dying and his sweet, cheerful, loveable ocelot was nowhere to be seen, probably already fading into golden dust like many others in this war, both allies and enemies. But this was his friend this was Obito, the ridiculous boy who saved his life, who died for him, who gave him one of his precious eyes as a gift and Kakashi was utterly numb and broken and so, so cold that he could barely breathe, and Chiari...

Chiari had leaped from his shoulder when the rocks fell, when Obito was buried. She twisted and shifted in the air, her glossy feathers giving way to soft, tick fur of dark grey and deep black and landed perfectly, gracefully on her newly-formed, enormous paws, her teeth bared ferociously, utterly feral in her wrath.

And then she _howled_.

It was like nothing Kakashi had heard before, it was not a sound a wolf should be able to produce. It was mournful, and anguished and so full of soul-deep pain that it almost brought him to his knees with the sheer force of the feelings. It was a sound of someone completely broken by grief, by hurt, someone shattered beyond repair, and it reflected Kakashi's heart perfectly.

(She will continue to howl for years to come, the only sound she ever let out, even to him. After Rin's death, after Minato-sensei's sacrifice, she will ward herself off from the rest of the hurtful, cruel world entirely.

Nobody noticed.

Not until they were twenty-six and still broken and shattered inside and not until they met three genin, young and naive and their responsibility. Sakura with her Kaemon and his pretty feathers and brightly coloured furs, but far stronger than they seemed to be at the first glance. Sasuke and his Iko, dark and dangerous, but immensely fond of her teammates and their daemons. And Naruto with Eirin, sweet, lovely Eirin, who was the only one already settled – settled too young, they had heard – but who was quite possibly the most beautiful daemon he had ever seen.

Chiari stopped howling. Kakashi healed.)

* * *

Iko settled when Naruto almost died.

It was not a conscious decision. Sasuke saw the senbon travel at high speeds towards his friend (yes, friend, his best friend probably, even if he would never admit it out loud) and his body reacted without waiting for a command from his brain. He could feel a whistle of air by his head as Iko shifted in some kind of bird and flew with all of her speed to place herself in front of Eirin. He had no time to look though, even if he could feel something sliding together in his chest, like the pieces of the puzzle that were missing, but he had an idiot to save and a stupid, moronic sacrifice to make, so he did not even glance in her direction. His daemon knew what she was doing.

The last thing he heard before the darkness claimed him was a high-pitched screech of a raptor bird on a hunt.

He woke up to snow, and tears, and newly-settled daemon pecking at his hair with unforgiving viciousness. He knew that was their final form before he even opened his eyes, he remembered the final, settled feeling in his chest before the dark, and instinctively realized that this is it. That this is them.

A hawk. A red-tailed hawk, to be more precise.

He remembered thinking that it was oddly fitting. A predator. A determined hunter with one of the best eyesights in the animal kingdom. A noble bird perfect for an Uchiha and an Avenger.

(He determinedly ignored that he was not really an Avenger anymore. He ignored the thrill he felt every time Kakashi complimented him on a jutsu well done and the warmth of Chiari's fond licks on Iko's feathers. He ignored the faint amusement as he watched Sakura berate and hit the dobe and the quiet hum of conversation between the hawk and the bear. He ignored the sheer overwhelming happiness he felt when Naruto smiled at him, laughed with him ( _with_ him, not at him, even though Sasuke never actually laughed) or called him his friend, and he absolutely refused to see the way Iko always gravitated towards Eirin, no matter the fights between their humans, the way she would perch herself on the fox's back or lean into her side without a spare thought to who might be watching.

He ignored it, because there was a faintly familiar, warm feeling curling in his chest every time he saw his team, a feeling that meant family and love and acceptance.

A feeling that made him happy.)

But then Itachi happened, again, and Tsukiyomi happened, and dobe had somehow gotten incredibly strong while he was lagging behind and suddenly he remembered the meaning of a hawk. A predator. A hunter.

So he defected.

(Iko refused to fight Eirin as Sasuke fought Naruto, just as the fox did not attack the hawk. They watched each other during the fight, not making a move to harm each other. And when Naruto was unconscious and Eirin started following her human in the darkness, Iko approached and pecked her, once, fondly, before they left.

Sasuke never spoke to her about it.)

For the next three years, he tried to ignore the empty feeling in his chest. He paid no attention to Iko's nagging, pleas and eventually begging about going home. He shielded his heart from the outside world thinking: a predator, a hunter. Their purpose.

(And then Itachi was dead, and the truth came out, and the war began, and suddenly Itachi was there, fighting beside him and Sasuke remembered. He remembered that hawk meant a predator, a hunter, but it also meant a protector. And there was his team, his family, fighting alone at the front lines, and if his very soul took a form that was meant to protect...

Well, who was he to argue?)

* * *

Sakura came out of Forest of Death with her hair freshly cut short, her eyes blazing with determination and her daemon finally settled.

No one was more surprised by his form than Sakura herself.

Kunoichi tended to have small daemons. Not because they were weaker than the male ninja or because they're usually medics or genjutsu mistresses. Not because they were not meant for fighting on the front lines or for waging death and destruction on their enemies. Not because they were incapable.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

Kunoichi were beautiful. They were seductive, intelligent, competent, their looks something that any man could only dream of. But they were also dangerous. They will kiss you with their lips coated in poison if you're not careful. They will slit your throat without remorse while you're too occupied with their body to notice. They will hand you a poisoned tea with a smile on their face and sweet lies dripping from their tongue.

They will kill you before you even realize you're in danger.

And their daemons reflect that.

They choose small, pretty shapes, with glossy-feathered wings, or brightly-coloured scales. They take forms of delicate-looking insects or fluffy-furred mammals. They look cute and sweet and dainty and utterly harmless. Because people don't notice the fangs. They don't notice the too sharp claws, or too strong limbs. They don't pay attention to teeth dripping with venom or stings that look incredibly painful. They don't pay attention and they pay for it with their lives more often than not.

All of the kunoichi Sakura knew had deceptively dangerous daemons. Kurenai-sensei's little songbird with feathers of deep black and bright red (one of the rare birds that was naturally poisonous). Ino's tarantula hawk, small and delicate looking and brightly coloured (a species of wasp with one of the most painful stings among the insects). Even Hinata's snowy owl looked harmless, with his fluffy feathers and pretty coloring (he had too sharp eyes and even sharper claws, he was swift and quiet, a silent killer).

Kaemon settled as a bear.

A small bear, yes, a panda slightly smaller than the natural, but he was still the biggest, strongest kunoichi daemon she had ever seen. He was nice-looking too, with the soft white and black fur and big brown eyes, but there was no mistaking the raw strength of his muscled form or his strong, deadly jaw.

There was nothing deceptive about him.

(And she did not understand why was she the one with such a daemon. She did nothing to deserve it. Yes, she had stood up to the three Sound-nin, but she was otherwise useless, even more so than Naruto and Eirin. She expected a butterfly for her daemon, or a songbird, maybe even a cat, but not a bear.)

But then the invasion happened, then Sasuke-kun and Iko defected and Naruto and Eirin left. Kakashi-sensei retreated behind his wall of eye-smiles and obnoxious porn like before they became a family and Chiari stopped talking to anyone who wasn't a member of Team 7 again.

Then Tsunade taught her how to shatter a boulder with her fist, how to break a man's torso with a kick. She taught her how to bring the wounded from the brink of death and how to kill without leaving a trace. She taught her how to fight, how to protect, how to survive.

Tsunade taught her how to be strong.

And for the first time since he settled, for the first time since she came home with a heavy, muscular bear trailing after her, she could look at Kaemon with an understanding and realization in her eyes, because...

Because, that was her.

(And when Naruto and Eirin come back, when they bring Akatsuki and Madara at their heels, when the war starts, she will stand at the front of the army, strong and proud, with her daemon at her side, all of his enormous mass displayed for everyone to see.

There was nothing deceptive about it.)

* * *

Eirin settled when Naruto was six.

It was early, much too early, even in the shinobi world, where the children were taught to kill basically since they could walk. But Naruto was a special case, as he often was, so the settling at such a young age will be nothing compared to his antics when he got older.

Still, it was special. Just not the good kind of special.

Naruto was six and he had his first kill.

It was his birthday, and he knew better than to go out on October 10th, but he needed bread and milk so he was forced to go. He had hot been surprised when he was attacked by a drunk in an alley, he had not been taken aback by the knife or the threats or the large dog daemon that growled at them viciously. But when the man lunged at him with the clear intent to kill, it surprised him. When the dog attacked Eirin with frightening determination shining almost feverishly in his eyes, he was startled. And when something woke up inside him at the sight of his daemon in pain, at the feeling of sharp ache trough the bond, a fight or flight instinct innate to every living thing, he was completely astonished.

He chose to fight.

It was over quickly, quicker than it should have been. The man did not expect struggle, did not even think that the small scrawny boy and his even smaller ferret daemon would even attempt a counter-attack. He was taken by surprise and it cost him his life when Naruto managed to stab him with his own knife at the same time as Eirin's newly formed sharp fangs closed around the dog's throat

The man died. The dog erupted into golden dust. And Eirin had settled.

She was a fox. And she was beautiful. She was the biggest fox Naruto had ever seen, bigger than was normal, and her eyes were icy blue, and her fur was soft, magnificently colored with countless shades of fiery oranges and sunset reds, with white patches on her belly and her narrow muzzle, and long, bushy tail that completed the picture.

She was perfect. Even if the other villagers did not seem to think so.

(The glares only became worse after the settling, even if no one knew about the dead man. The insults became sharper, more cutting, and infinitely more hurtful. The avoidance, the shunning, the pointed barbs and petty remarks, all of it because of his beautiful, perfect daemon.

And when they finally found out about the Kyuubi and the reason for that treatment, they understand immediately. Because Naruto may be a bad student, terrible at written tests and chakra control and even some basic social interaction, but he was not an idiot. He may not like books or learning, but Naruto knew people, knew what made them sad or angry or scared and he knew why. So he knew that the villagers were frightened, that they were still in mourning, that they were still grieving and that the demon container with a fox daemon was a perfect scapegoat for their feelings.

He also knew that he will change all of their minds one day, dattebayo!)

They decided to become a Hokage after that.

(They had seen the way people treated Hokage-jiji, they had seen and recognized the silent awe and almost worshipful respect in the eyes of people that looked at them with scorn and distrust every day. They wanted it. They wanted to be strong enough, to be good enough to deserve such appreciation. They wanted to be respected and adored and looked up upon because of their merits.

They wanted to be acknowledged.)

And then they became part of Team 7 and for the first time in their life they had something that felt like family.

(Kakashi-sensei with his warm eye-smiles and head ruffles and a daemon who absolutely adored Eirin. Sakura-chan with her smarts and her good looks and quiet type of kindness and bravery, and Kaemon with shy voice and hesitant strength and fierce protectiveness in battle. And Sasuke, his best friend, his brother, with his dark glares and slight twitch of his lips, and Iko with her unhesitant acceptance and casual intimacy.

A family.)

But after Sasuke's defection, and the appearance of Akatsuki, they were forced to leave, to abandon the village they want to protect, and the people they loved, to become stronger, better.

(To earn the acknowledgement.)

(And when the war finally came, when all of the nations stood untied, when Team 7, his friends, his family was reunited for the first time in years, Naruto stood before the ninja from all over the continent, Eirin at his side, a fox, fierce and wild and still beautiful, and the look in the people's eyes when they gazed at him wasn't scorn anymore, or distrust and barely hidden cruelty.

It was a silent sort of awe and almost worshipful respect that he remembered from years ago when the Hokage-jiji had been alive and walking. He remembered the longing he felt, the need and want, and then he smiled his closed-eyed smile as his fingers curled in fiery orange and sunset red fur, his family at his side.

He had received his acknowledgement.)


End file.
